When God first called me to Japan I had the purest motives. It was simple: Heaven, Hell, eternity, and the offer of salvation and joy in Jesus were real, and my heart broke for all the Japanese who didn’t know this. I still remember the night, March 10, 2007, when I offered my life for the service of spreading the gospel in Japan. My motive for everything was for as many Japanese as possible to spend eternity with Jesus, not separated from Him in Hell. This hope, this future joy, has been my sustenance through various trials God has brought me through thus far.
Somewhere along the way this reality got hijacked. Genesis 4:7. Sin, namely pride, has and probably will always be at my door, crouching and waiting to devour me. Somewhere I bought into a little lie which became more lies and bigger lies until the point of utter folly. My motive for ministry and Japan shifted to me and my name being made great. Desires to preach where Christ has not been named for the sake of bringing good news to the dying were exchanged for desires to do this that I might boast in being the first. 1 Peter 5:5. When I seek my fame, I make myself God’s enemy and contend for the glory that belongs to Him alone.
God is teaching me this in many ways. I don’t want to be the idiot student who doesn’t listen and learn. Pray that my heart would believe the truth of the Bible, that I am nothing and Jesus is everything, and I can do nothing apart from Him. Pray that my joy would be in people being saved by Jesus and Him receiving worship, though my name and my hands never be connected to it.
I’ve been preaching short messages before Theological Fight Club for the past few weeks. I thought i would post my notes. This week God taught me a lot about my desire for him and revealed to me the idols i love more and the reasons i have been slack lately.
“My conviction tonight for what I’ve chosen to lift up and what I’ve chosen to leave out is that, though many things are necessary, ultimately only one thing matters, and whether you have this or not determines the profit of anything else I could say. That one thing is the truth that Jesus is the most satisfying and glorious being in existence. If in the deepest part of your being this is true, you will joyfully make any and every sacrifice that gives you more of Jesus, until ultimately you have Him fully. And if this is not ultimately true, you will either blatantly sin and refuse to repent because you believe your idol is better than God, or you will white-knuckle obedience without joy and use “godliness” as a means to obtaining your idol, using God as a means to what you really want, and testifying to yourself, others, and God that something God made is more satisfying and glorious than Him. One or the other, and it all depends on whether that one truth sinks in to the deepest parts of your being. I echo the words of Paul to all of us tonight: “Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves” (2 Corinthians 13:5).
Every sacrifice a person makes is sustained by the hope of a future reward. So why are you here making this sacrifice to study the Bible? What is the ultimate thing you are hoping to obtain from training in godliness?
Physical training gives us something tangible that we can see, experience, and understand. Despite popular belief, the greatest athletes are not just born great, they become great after thousands of hours of practice. A CNN article stated that “There’s no evidence of high-level performance without experience or practice…the most accomplished people need around ten years of hard work before becoming world-class, a pattern so well established researchers call it the ten-year rule” (Colvin, http://money.cnn.com/magazines/fortune/fortune_archive/2006/10/30/8391794/index.htm).
It does not only take years of practice to become great, since many people practice for just as many hours and years and don’t improve. It takes thousands of hours of deliberate practice that is “explicitly intended to improve performance, that reaches for objectives just beyond one’s level of competence, provides feedback on results and involves high levels of repetition. For example: Simply hitting a bucket of balls is not deliberate practice…Hitting an eight-iron 300 times with a goal of leaving the ball within 20 feet of the pine 80 percent of the time, continually observing results and making appropriate adjustments, and doing that for hours every day – that is deliberate practice” (Colvin).
One example is Tiger Woods. “Because his father introduced him to golf at an extremely early age – 18 months – and encouraged him to practice intensively, Woods had racked up at least 15 years of practice by the time he became the youngest-ever winner of the U.S. Amateur Championship, at age 18. Also in line with the findings, he has never stopped trying to improve, devoting many hours a day to conditioning and practice, even remaking his swing twice because that’s what it took to get even better” (Colvin).
There is nothing profound about what I just said. Most people can see the wide-ranging truth of these observations and conclusions across all fields, from sports to academics to business, and as the Scripture notes, to godliness.
People who are most godly, that is, ultimately, most like Jesus, were not always so. They were not “just born that way.” Every person is born just the opposite, as David attests to in Psalm 51: “Behold I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me” (v. 7). When Jesus saves us, He begins transforming us to be like Him through the Word by the Spirit. The “deliberate practice” Jesus gives us to become more like Him is to “Repent and believe in the gospel” (Mark 1:15). All life is a continual practice of repenting and completing that repentance by believing in the gospel, a transforming belief that will “produce fruit in keeping with repentance” as John commanded (Matthew 3:8; Martin Luther). People who are most like Jesus have spent years of their lives practicing repentance and belief in the gospel. The fruit of their lives are the result of this “deliberate practice,” acting as a witness to their repentance and belief.
The same principle requirements of physical training are demanded of those who desire to grow in godliness. And, like great athletes, there are few who stick to a lifetime of deliberate practice in repentance and belief and therefore few who we emulate as great men of God. If the way to becoming like Jesus is as simple as repentance and belief in the gospel, why are there so few who devote their lives to this practice and become accurate reflections of Jesus? This is the same question researchers of great athletes ask and cannot answer: “We still do not know which factors encourage individuals to engage in deliberate practice…Some people are much more motivated than others, and that’s the existential question I cannot answer – why” (Colvin).
In the words of John Piper, “Present sacrifice is sustained by the hope of future reward.” Great athletes sacrifice many comforts and pleasures for the pain and suffering of practice because they believe that whatever they hope to gain is worth more than all the pleasures and comforts they are presently sacrificing. The source of motivation varies. Some do it out of fear (communists), others for money, and some for status. If their ultimate motivation and future reward is anything other than an intrinsic delight in the pleasure of the game itself, they are like a mercenary, using the game as a means to gaining the thing they delight more in. The one whose ultimate joy, reward, and motivation for sacrifice is the delight of the game itself glorifies the game by his denial of all things to obtain that which is most glorious and satisfying to him.
The Bible calls this worship.
The same applies to training in godliness. Those who do not consider the future reward of training in godliness, namely saying no to sin and yes to Jesus, will not make the sacrifices necessary because they believe that their sin is better than what their repentance could obtain. This is idolatry. Some will make sacrifices and produce lives that seem to be the outcome of godly training, though they grit their teeth and white knuckle-their way through obedience. They are like the athlete who does not honor the game because, though they “do” the outward obedience, they do not delight in God himself and the experience of knowing him, thus testifying that obedience is a means to obtaining some greater reward, whether it be for money and status, marriage and kids, or self-righteousness. Still, those who continue training in godliness, “for the joy set before them,” delighting in God alone ultimately, glorify God by showing that the pleasure of knowing him is worth every loss imaginable, from money to illicit sex to the ultimate loss of one’s life. Or, as God himself says in Psalm 50:23, “The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me.”
If in the deepest part of your heart you believe anything is more satisfying than the pleasure of knowing Jesus, repent and believe in the gospel, namely the truth that Jesus is the all-satisfying glorious reward and end of the gospel. See, believe, and respond to the gospel that takes away your sin through the blood of the Cross and makes you clean with the righteousness of God, so that through it you can NOW have Jesus:
He is, as Piper says in his message “How the Supremacy of Christ Creates Radical Christian Sacrifice”,
God’s final revelation (Hebrews 1:2).
The heir of all things (1:2).
The creator of the world (1:2).
The radiance of God’s glory (1:3).
The exact imprint of God’s nature (1:3).
He upholds the universe by the word of his power (1:3).
He made purification for sins (1:3).
He sits at the right hand of the Majesty on High (1:4).
He is God, enthroned forever, with a scepter of uprightness (1:8).
He is worshipped by angels (1:6).
His rule will have no end (1:8).
His joy is above all other beings in the universe (1:9).
He took on human flesh (2:14).
He was crowned with glory and honor because of his suffering (2:9).
He was the founder of our salvation (2:10).
He was made perfect in all his obedience by his suffering (2:10).
He destroyed the one who has the power of death, the devil (2:15).
He delivered us from the bondage of fear (2:15).
He is a merciful and faithful high priest (2:17)
He made propitiation for sins (2:17).
He is sympathetic because of his own trials (4:15).
He never sinned (4:15).
He offered up loud cries and tears with reverent fear, and God heard him (5:7).
He became the source of eternal salvation (5:8)
He holds his priesthood by virtue of an indestructible life (7:16).
He appears in the presence of God on our behalf (9:24).
He will come a second time to save us who are eagerly waiting for him (9:28).
He is the same yesterday, today, and forever (13:8)”
The past few weeks have been a blur. School started the last week of September and since then we have been going, going, going. I haven’t written in a while because of this. It’s only Tuesday night, but so far this week has already been jam packed. On monday night we had our first “Japanese Party.” I told my new Japanese friends who are studying English and Business at the University of Washington that it would be fun to have a Japanese food party and invite my American friends. We ended up having 8 Japanese student/chefs and around ten students and coworkers from Mars Hill. Everyone agreed it was an awesome night. The food was delicious (okonomiyaki, sushi, and mochi for dessert) and everyone seemed to be enjoying each other’s company. I posted a short clip of the night below.
Tonight we had our second week of Theological Fight Club (TFC). TFC is our college guys’ training program. We basically teach guys how to study the Bible and then give them an opportunity to each teach their respective group (we have 7 goups of about 7 guys plus a “trainer” who leads them through the course). It was amazing to look around and see close to fifty college or college age guys studying/teaching/discussing Scripture with highlighters, pens, and notes in hand. We also played “Cage Ball” (dodgeball inside of a steel cage) before hand for some team bonding. I’ll post this up in a few days.
So that’s just a glimpse of what i’ve been up to. If i don’t post here for a little bit, you can catch what i’m up to by checking our ministry website. It’s basically the fruit of my labor, alongside the team i lead with.
Recently i’ve been aware of my skepticism towards the Bible. Most of my life i would say has been spent reading the Bible with subtle skepticism. In my long 22 years of life (yeah right), i’ve learned that a person’s life bears witness to what they believe in their heart. Why don’t we live like Jesus is God and the Bible is all true and He’s coming back? Quite simply, because we don’t believe it. Of course there are challenges in life, but at the core, it’s a matter of belief or unbelief. As far as i can remember i have always believed that if i stood in front of a moving car, i would be hit and it would be devastating. I cannot remember an instance where i have ever remained in front of an oncoming car instead of moving out of the way. So long as i am sane and not suicidal i don’t expect to ever stand in front of an oncoming car–unless it was to push someone out of the way, in which case i put myself at risk to deliver the other person from what i know to be true–the collision is real and will be devastating.
That is all a roundabout way or describing how recently i’ve been walking in doubt as regards to the person and work of Jesus. Its effects on my life and ministry have been obvious to me, and perhaps to others. The thought of talking to people boldly about Jesus was repulsive to me. I knew it shouldn’t, but i also knew that in my heart it wasn’t something i felt right doing. How could i talk to someone who didn’t believe in Jesus, telling them that He is God and was crucified and resurrected miraculously to rescue sinners? Fear kept growing as i thought about how retarded that sounded and how this or that argument would shred me. All the while “i know” in my head that the Bible is true…but the core, my heart, was far from believing.
By the grace of God i was aware of all this and began to do what i should always be doing–pray. I knew that at the end of the day, either you believe people who say the Bible is a lie or you believe the Bible. You can find arguments for both, but in the end one is true and the other is false. I also knew that i couldn’t zap my heart and make myself believe. This was humbling, and i am so glad for it. I remember how my life changed a little over a year ago–God simply changed my heart and gave me new eyes to believe His Word fully. And i remembered how the Bible spoke of our inability to open our own eyes, and the natural response of Biblical writers, who prayed things like “open my eyes that i may behold wondrous things out of your law” (Ps. 119:18) and that God “may give you a spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him, having the eyes of your heart enlightened, that you may know…” (Ephesians 1:17-18). People write like that because in humility they know that their ability to even believe God’s Word depends on God granting them that gift of faith. So i had been praying that God would do what i could not do, namely enable me to see and believe.
Tonight i was reading John 1 and it hit me like a train. Read it yourself again. It hit me that Jesus was in the beginning, He was with God, and He was God, and being all that, He became flesh and dwelt among us. The rest of the Gospel of John is telling the story of that God who put on flesh–all the way to the cross and past it into the resurrection. The gravity of this simple truth is immeasurable. What can i say except that i was convinced, and am convinced as i write this now. All the arguments and possibilities of who else Jesus might be and what else might be true do not hold any longer. I believe Him. I believe His Name. I believe His Word.
And, i believe the rest of the Bible as truth. It defines the world and my life within it. One of those truths is that every knee will one day bow before Jesus and give Him the glory due His Name. That means myself and Christians, and it also means every person who believes that the Bible is not true, regardless of how scholarly their counter-arguments are. Paul laid this out in 1 Corinthians. The message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing. To people who God hasn’t granted faith to believe, it is seriously stupid what you are saying. But to those who God has given faith, namely His sheep (John 10), it is the power of God and full of sweet glory. The proud and “wise” who so confidently stand upon their doubts now will all one day stand before King Jesus and bow their knee. Knowing this makes me want to see as many of those people as possible receive new eyes of faith and repentance so that they can receive Jesus now and bow their knee in joy, unto heaven, not in terror on their way to Hell.
So if you are seeking a way to pray for me, pray that God would continue to humble me and grant me more grace to believe His Word and hunger for more of it. The more i am out of Scripture, the dumber i become. I believe stupid things over the Bible. Pray that i would speak the gospel boldly to those God brings across my path, and that He would grant them repentance and new hearts to receive His Word when they encounter it in me.
With the school year about to begin, there are a lot of things that need to be done. I’ve spent the morning flipping back and forth through the Bible and my Systematic Theology (Grudem) book. This sounds odd to say, but i forgot how rich and profitable God’s Word is. Or, more specifically, i have neglected setting aside time to “soak” in Scripture. My time this morning has reminded me of the power of the Word of God to transform lives.
I used to think that theology and doctrine were disconnected from daily life. In my mind they were kind of evil and meant that you only studied books and were cold-hearted and lifeless or something. But then i never really dug into the Scriptures and saw how alive and connected everything was. For me, this began to change about two years ago when God used Mars Hill Church, a good friend, John Piper, and the Bible to challenge how i viewed His Word. My junior year of college was a painful battle of the mind where i moved from believing the words of the Bible as probable/possible to absolutely true. This began a season of reading the Bible for hours each day, foregoing sports, shows, and weekends with friends to read the Bible. My reasoning was basically, if this book is really, and i mean as real as you can get, about the God of the universe and life and everything, there is nothing else i want to watch, read, or experience. I had been wrestling with the reality of God simultaneously, so the logic was also that if God were an absolute reality and i could know him mainly through the book He wrote, why in the world would i put that off for something or someone else?
There are many doctrines i hold dear today, things i literally clutch to, and they come from Scripture. One of these is the sovereignty of God. For the last three months i have leaned into Proverbs 21:1 which states, “The king’s heart is a stream of water in the hand of the Lord; he turns it wherever he will.” It soon became clear that my best efforts to be articulate, humble, and clear in asking for the support i needed would be in vain if God did not turn a person’s heart to give. I also knew that God was well aware of my needs and would meet them (Matthew 6:32-34, 7:7-11; Psalm 84:11). These biblical convictions carried me through all my doubts and fears and the seemingly impossible task. It basically went: i have three months to raise all the money i need so that i can be on the field before school starts in september, God will make this happen, the support raising process is the means He ordained for me, and it might mean talking to one person who writes a check for the year or hundreds of smaller donors. This is what kept me going.
Now with my primary assignment shifting from gathering a ministry team to actively working to spread the gospel and see people meet Jesus, biblical convictions are my only foundation. John 10:16, the verse in the banner at the top of this page, is my confidence in going forth. Jesus said that there were other sheep, and he said they would listen to His voice. I don’t trust in myself or the person i talk to for salvation. Jesus said, “All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me i will never cast out” (John 6:37). Similar to the principles of support raising, i know that Jesus has people He will save, sharing the gospel in word and deed is the means, and it may mean one or thousands being saved, but the Word of God, namely John 6:37, will not fail.
This is a rock on which i will be leaning in the midst of many rejections. Pray for God to continually give me the grace to really believe the Bible and be empowered and encouraged by it. And pray for God to give many people the gift of faith like He did to me so that their lives can be redeemed and transformed by Jesus.
It’s been on my mind for about a week or so, and today i finally got around to it. After helping my sister move way too much stuff into her sorority house I parked my car near the university, got some quarters at the bank, and hopped on the 48 bus headed to Rainier Beach. Basically, i crossed the line most in the North side never cross and went down to South Seattle.
It’s a different world. Almost surreal. The North side has all these trendy spots and shops everywhere. When you go south of I-90 though, everything changes, fast. In a way i felt like a missionary parachuting into a foreign country. My four years in Seattle were spent in one of the richest areas of Seattle. I’ve been worlds apart from the people i was walking amongst today. Even though i’m Asian-American like many of the people in the South Side, i’m different. My homeland is the 2nd largest world economy; most who live there are from 3rd world. And i’m the fourth generation in America whereas the majority are first/second generation. No real conclusions to anything. These are just some things i’ve been wrestling with, in part because students i’ll meet at UW will come from this area, and because i live in Seattle–and we basically ignore half of the city in my opinion.
Here’s one thing: even though socioeconomically i was pretty different and disconnected, it was refreshing to be the majority culture for a little bit. When i’m in the North, apart from the UW, i’m often the only non-white person in a shop. But on the bus and walking the streets, i just blended in. It was weird, but from Chinatown southward i felt at home.
So i think that in the next day or so, everything will be finalized with my support so that i can be released to actually start my field ministry with Mars Hill. The past week has been crazy as I’ve been transitioning from support raising mode to setting foot on the field. Here’s a cool little story that will be the first among many i believe.
Tuesday afternoon i was doing some reading/writing at a Starbucks in UVillage, a shopping center right next to the UW. When i walked in to buy a drink i noticed that the guy ringing me up was not only Asian, but unusually tall. I made some small talk about him being tall and then asked him about getting into some basketball games at UW. He told me about some of the places he played, and with that i went back to my seat since we were holding up a huge line by talking…
At my table, a few minutes into writing out an essay the guy sitting across from me gets my attention and tells me my phone is buzzing (i had headphones on). After i get off the phone, i tell him thanks and ask him for his name. He replies, “Hiro.” I knew he was international, but unsure of where he was from until he gave me his name, which i knew was Japanese. So then i start talking to him about Japan and being Japanese-American, etc. I think he asked me what i did (student/job) and i told him i worked for a church. So then i asked him what he knew/believed about Christianity. He had some background from doing a home stay with a Christian family, but i wasn’t sure if he really grasped the gospel. I took a few minutes to explain the basics of the gospel and asked him what he thought about it. He had never read or researched the claims and hinted to possibly doing it sometime. We left exchanging contact info and having a pretty good initial relationship (i ended up seeing him again today at the same spot).
Upon leaving, i swung by the drink counter and said something to the barista about playing basketball with him. This turned into him asking for my number so that he could text me when he and his frat brothers played basketball. Turns out he’s in an Asian frat.
Later that night i had a chance to meet with some national staff from Epic, an ethnic ministry of Campus Crusade that focuses on reaching Asian American college students. It was a great encouragement to gain insight and wisdom while also sharing my struggles/desires. This was a huge answer to prayers i had been lifting up to God regarding my cluelessness about a lot of cultural aspects of the ministry people within Mars Hill couldn’t provide me (vast majority are caucasian).
I am praying more than i have before, even more so than support raising, and i would ask everyone to join with me in petitioning God. Pray for God’s saving grace to fall on this campus and its students, especially the Asian student population. Pray that the Holy Spirit would be moving in the hearts of many students, softening hard hearts and opening blind eyes. Pray for me specifically in this stage that God would give me as many opportunities as possible each day to make new contacts and that He would turn their hearts towards me in favor. Pray that God would bring me Asian students who already love Jesus and have a desire to see their people meet Jesus and be transformed and redeemed by Him. Pray that God would bring me an Asian girl who believes in the vision and can lead and disciple women, and work in harmony with me. Pray for me, that i would be constantly aware of my need for Jesus (not that it ever changes, but that i would be aware of this reality) so that i pray continually and abide solely in Him. Pray that out of this i would be strengthened and equipped mightily by the Holy Spirit. Pray that God would provide a community for me to belong and share my life, as a normal guy and not one leading it. Pray that as God does amazing things, i would faithfully turn all the praise/credit/glory to Him alone, as is fitting. And pray that i would have a spirit of humility and a heart that truly fears the Lord.