A Son Needs a Dad to Teach Him How To Die

This is a post in a series titled “30 days for dad.”

A few months after my dad died (May 2004) I bought a book by Gregory Lang called “Why a Son Needs a Dad: 100 Reasons.” I resonated with his reasons and flipped through the book often to remember the blessing of my own dad. Seven years have passed since I last saw him, and though he is gone, his life still leads me today.

I’m behind this year, but every year I try to make a habit out of writing tributes to my father between his death (May 19th) and Father’s day (3rd Sunday of June). The span is always about one month, or 30 days, thus the tag “30 days for dad.” Today I want to share one of the most important reasons a son needs a dad: to teach him how to die.

Physically, we all die, and in a very real sense my dad taught me how to die well. Every dad should live with a vision of the end in mind. But beyond losing your physical life I also mean dying to your selfishness and comforts for the sake of following Christ and helping others. When I was 21 God called me to a life of missionary church planting in Japan. I wrestled with many fears the summer leading into my senior year of college. Most of all, I wrestled with how true the claims of the Bible were. Above all other earthly influences, my dad gave me courage to trust God and fully believe the Bible. He gave me the courage to die.

In 2008, four years after his death, my dad helped me to say these words at the end of a public appeal for support.

“In light of today’s baby dedication, I have a word specifically for the fathers. What is the effect of a father who loves Jesus more than his kids and proves it through living and dying?

I am not afraid to die and lose my life in obedience to Christ. Eternity and the reward of Christ, and the thousands to be found in Christ are worth the temporary sacrifices of leaving behind a life in America, the dreams I had for my future family, and the unknown and unseen trials prepared as my cross. Because I saw my dad suffer, and die, and prove the truth of his life in the words of his death. No man is wide eyed praising Jesus in the midst of cancer unless the Bible is true. No man; and no man can die faithful if he has not cultivated a life of faithfulness seeking after the Lord. So cultivate, and don’t be deceived by wishful thinking. Start today, start now. God will give you grace like he gave my father. You will succeed.”

Every son will be called to lose his life in obedience to Christ. Dads, how are you teaching your sons to die well?